The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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