thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
