So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
