Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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