Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
