I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All the doctor said was why
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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