i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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