Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
