Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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