My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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