I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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