I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
In America we eat man semen.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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