You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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