So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
