How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
