i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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