You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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