So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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