I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
