I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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