no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
