Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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