I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
