So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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