Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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