happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize