I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
