i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We're too hungover to prance.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
