what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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