nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
