Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
