I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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