i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
