Soap is not a condiment
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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