You made me cry and you don't even care
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize