I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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