coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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