Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize