every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
