Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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