Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
pray to the hookup gods
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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