a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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