i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize