umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
