How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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