i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
