Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
