ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
