So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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