I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
