You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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