sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
