Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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