I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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