I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
