C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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