You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
