Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
