I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
