His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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