the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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