Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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