Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
