Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
