TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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