farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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