im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
