I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
