Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
