WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
