All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
