No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
