Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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