I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
